mood : messed up.
hello awesomes.
so it's final, i'm officially single. i hate to say this but i miss him alot.
we broke up around midnight the day before today but i was too busy working to blog it out. i'll talk about work later on. for now, i'm going spill out everything that happened that awful midnight. bear with me, it's going be a long post.
what happen was, after work, i decided to give-in again because i had no choice. so i texted him. surprisingly he replied. so there we go arguing over everything. what hurts most was that he said we look better as friends. i was fuming mad at that moment that i brokedown. finally the reason why he wanted to end this relationship: first was that he had some health problem, which seems more to an excuse to me because he never told me he had such conditions and he claims he wouldnt be the same. okay. the other reason was that he dont feel how he use to feel towards me anymore. fair enough. "the past months have been great! but dont you think our relationship is falling apart?" he said. baby, if our relationship was great, why would it be falling apart? i was super confused and i'm sure all of you would too. i dont know how i should feel right now. i'm in a total whirlpool.
to hariz, im in the state of disbelief.i put my faith in you, so much faith and then you, just threw it away.to me, the past 4 months being with you was a blast. i dont know what i;ve done that would cause us to be in this already f'ed up relationship. however, i can safely say that you are the best boyfriend i ever had. i never knew that this relationship was going to end so drastically that's why i'm so very mad at you. it is ashame that i've lost you.love, i'm sorry for not being the desired girlfriend of your life but i hope i made it to your heart. i am going to miss being around you now that we are together anymore. i just wish that you stayed long enough to explain the whole situation but fate has bring us to the end so there's really nothing much i can do mend it. i just want this pain to end right here. i am still elated though, that we'll still be good friends. dont worry babe, i'll be alright. i'll just pray and bless for a better future. i hope you get well soon alright? love, thank you for being such a sweetheart right from the very start we got togther and making me feel on top of the world. for now, i say to those who are in love, it cant be true 'cause we're too young. i know it's true because so long i was so in love with you, so i thought. i'll move on with life for now (:
today was suppose to be the third day of work for leeyan, jodie and i at Grand Hyatt Hotel but we quitted (: hawhaw. why? because the job was f'ed up and we had to be super neat and we had to apply lipstick.are you kidding me? anyway,we were working under the banqueting section. the first day was a total hellhole. i dont even know what to do and the "captain" act as if i knew everything. i had to operate some shitty Boncafe machine which clearly states that it make coffee, expresso etc. you get the picture. the first day was not only boring it was tiring too. the three of us didnt get to meet each other.nevertheless, i manage to make 5 new friends on the first day, Lerr (the cute funny guy),Koon (the kecoh hilarious guy),Ubai (terlalu friendly guy) and the indian lady. Lerr and Koon accompanied my during break time.sweet kan? (:
second day was even worst. i had to carry tables 3 times my weight in and out of the leaking hotel(so much for a 5 star hotel -.-"), stand like some motherf***ker on standby,clear up dirty plates and set up the Grand Ballroom. fuck it. my limbs were screaming "stop carrying those stuff bitch!" but i had to or else im dead. jodie and i work for 11 freaking hours! how shitified can our day be plus i just broke up with hariz. total wtf-ness. good thing was that Lerr and jodie work with me for some shifts. met a few other friends, nurul(super cute girl), Suzy (door girl, very kakak2), Dzul(super nice mentor) and another chinese boy (help me out when i f'ed up a few stuff). anywho, im going to miss everybody there, the behind the scenes of the hotel and the uniform.hawhaw.
today, the three of us went to river island to apply. we put all our faith in you okay!
