mood: disturbed
hello all.
i woke up to the bane of my misery and a rude awakening.
i received a text from mysexylove, aidil.
ironic.why misery?
because the content of the text hit me. hard.
so hard that i filled myself with never ending ambiguous questions.
am i too naive or guys are just, well, guys?
are people just blinded by intimacy that they forget everything in the world and losing themselves?
that small little text set me thinking.
i never thought that text would ever come from him. really.
it's just too unexpected you see.
my feelings were scarred so deep inside me whenever i thought of him.
i was swarming with anger instead of elations.
i was rather confused when im suppose to be all cleared up in the mind.
i was pretty much like a rojak because my feelings were all mixed up.
ambiguousity and dejections just form a huge question mark in me.
left unanswered.
maybe it just came to a great shock for me.
because i've always thought that i knew him inside out.
his life, past, character-pretty much everything.
but in this world, nothing seem to be what you expext it to be like.
seriously, i had one of the worst mornings of my life today.
i wanted to breakdown but i had to stay strong.
im fasting.
but im upset with myself.i feel useless as a friend.
i was suppose to tell him the truth and tell him whatever i think honestly.
yet, i was too damn frighten to even correct him.why? because he was my ex crush.
it's hard.seriously, i dont want any mishap to happen to him.
i hate that whore. demanding little slut.
i wished he didnt met her. but again, what am i here to stop him.
im just his best friend. or rather.
it's really hard for me to digest all this event happening to me today.
311008.please, dont let me imagine things i dont even want at the first place.
i cant help.
help me.
anyway, despite my rather emotional morning, i happen to bump upon myhotadviser.
ahh his smile.i miss him alot. i manage to smile at him.
anyway, baby is sitting for his n level papers today.
do your best babe!I LOVE YOU!
salihin, my ex was rather irritating today.hawhaw.
especially during dnt class. i dont wish to elaborate further.phaa~
look at the damage you left.
you know sometimes you dont see what you've done.
but look.
phaa~ what a day.
